Apropos of Nothing
apropos of nothing
"you have a lot of pictures of yourself"
ya, well, its an obsession
"do you ever wonder how many vacation photos you end up on?"
no, though it would explain random bad mojo in my life
"how does it feel to be the most photographed person in the immediate area?"
pretty fucking empty
chip said last night at the bar that one person telling us we’re great is nice, but what we need (us performers) is 5,000 of them
and last night i agreed
and mostly i still do . . .
except sometimes when i think about people
and realize there are "ones" who make it seem like 5,000
you know what i mean?
some people have this thing that makes their attention and praise seem like it’s from the masses, it carries that much weight with you
you believe what they tell you,
they are that convincing in their sincerity
and when that runs out, it still feels like 5,000 people
all of them turning their backs
and you get hurt and then angry and if you are smart,
you go on,
if only to prove that one wrong
prove that you can do it
whatever it is
and sometimes you are rewarded with the 5,000 for that effort.
and sometimes,
even after all that,
you still miss the one.
(c)Cydniey 2005
